The Baby Snooze Button

I've decided that white noise machines are basically snooze buttons for babies. Both the Things have them in their cribs, and have been able to turn them on by themselves for a while now. The other morning, I walked past their door and heard someone stirring. Then, I heard the white noise come on. Clearly, they'd decided it wasn't time to wake up yet, and hit the magic button to get a little more shut-eye. It's their little way of saying "just 5 more minutes, mom." These kids looooooooove their sleep (and I love them for that)!

Along with loving their sleep, the Things are really developing their personalities these days. They love to

Oh, the snuggles!

snuggle and give excellent hugs. (Though Thing 2 only wants to give them on her terms. If you ask for a hug when she doesn't want to give it, she'll say "No!" and give you her best "talk to the hand" brush off.) They would happily sit on your lap for hours, reading books. (Or possibly, just the same book on an endless loop.) They've discovered how much fun it is to spin around until you get dizzy and fall over. (Thing 1 prefers to let you do the leg work for him, then totters around like a drunk man, giggling hysterically and demands that you do it again.) They like to accessorize. (Sunglasses and chewbeads are the current favorites, although your watches and bracelets are fair game.) They think Mischa has the best toys, and really want to play with her. (She's not entirely sure about the prospect, but is warming to the idea of having 2 additional pairs of hands to pet her and throw toys for her.)

Epic meltdown.

They're not all giggles and snuggles right now, though. They have their fair share of meltdowns and temper tantrums. Thing 1 acts like you're trying to kill him when you try to brush his teeth. Thing 2 bites anything that makes her mad: her highchair, the toy she just tripped on, the table she bumped into, her brother... And, don't get me started on the bubble bath. (Long story short: we tried to give them a bubble bath last weekend. They lost their little minds.) Fortunately, Hubby and I think they're kinda funny when they're so upset. We're doing a pretty good job of keeping our cool when the munchkins get all fired up, and their freak outs usually don't last very long. (Knock on wood.)

And, where do things stand on the running front? I'm doing pretty well at getting back into the routine, and have actually worked out every day for over a week now! On days when I'm not running, I've been doing yoga, in the hopes of regaining some of the flexibility I've lost. I can already tell that I'm getting stronger, and I'm curious to see how I progress. I've also managed to work some morning runs in recently, which has been a nice change to the routine. We'll see if I manage to keep that one going, though... I do love my sleep!

On the resolution front: I've run 22.51 miles so far, so I've got 477.49 left to go! I also passed the 1,600 mile mark (since I started using the Nike+ app to track my miles in July, 2010), which made me happy. If I meet my goal of 500 miles this year, I ought to be able to break the 2,000 mile mark!

First Run of the New Year!

So, thanks to the Things, I had to have some minor surgery late last month. I'm fine, I promise! Thanks to the surgery, though, I've had to take it easy for the past four weeks. Uuuuuuuuuuugh! It's always fun to have a couple of days to relax, but it sure gets old after a while!

Anyway, I got the all-clear to work my way back to regular activities starting yesterday!!! It's a good thing, too--I was getting cranky about not being able to run, or even pick my kids up!

Last night, I took myself to the indoor track for my first run of the New Year. It didn't suck! I only ran two miles, but I ran at a good pace, and nothing hurt! I'll count it as a win. I actually meant to take a picture of myself, because I wore my "Are my kids still chasing me?" shirt, courtesy of another mother runner. I got the shirt for Christmas, and I've been waiting (not so) patiently to wear it!

What? I'm thirsty!

I also got a water bottle from another mother runner for Christmas, but I have a really hard time holding onto it... These tiny thieves seem to think it's theirs! We've hit the "If mommy's using it, it must be better than what we have" phase, so my water bottle gets stolen quite a bit. It's a good thing they're so cute!

It's so great to be back in action! I'm taking things slowly, since I can tell I'm still healing, but at least I'm out there again. This really was the perfect time to take a break, too: the weather sucks right now, and it gets dark so early that it can be hard to find a safe time to run. For now, I'll use this time to get my strength back. I'll run indoors when I need to, outside when I can, and try to be better about doing some cross training as well. Yoga for runners is on the agenda for tonight.

Oh, and for accountability, here's where things stand with my resolution: 2 miles down, only 498 to go! It's a small start, but it's a start!

The Holidays

Well. I think an update is long overdue, don't you?

This has been an...interesting...holiday season. It's been wonderful, amazing, challenging, awful and depressing all at the same time.

December 8th marked the second anniversary of my miscarriage. Now, when the holidays roll around, I can't look forward to them with the same excitement I used to have. Sure, I have my amazing babies to celebrate with me now, but there's still a lot of what if's running around in my head at the same time. Starting in October, I realize that "This time, two years ago, I was pregnant." In November, it's "This time, two years ago, I was worried about my baby, but still pregnant and convinced that everything would be fine. It might be a difficult pregnancy, but everything has to be fine."  On my birthday, it's "This time, two years ago, I took the day off from work because I'd been having really bad morning sickness." Then, in early December, it's "This time, two years ago, I was bleeding, but I didn't know why. And I was scared." And finally, on December 8th, it's the worst day of my life again.

I've started dreading this time of year, because every day has little reminders like that. December 8th itself was easier this year, but the holiday concerts with my choir were hell. Christmas with my family was great. And terrible. It's impossible not to make comparisons with two years ago, when I couldn't face going to Christmas Eve services, and instead spent the whole time curled up in a ball on the couch. This year, I was able to share the holiday with two adorable toddlers. They were fascinated by the carols: Thing 2 thought the songs were all for her, and danced through most of the Christmas Eve service. They loved all the Christmas trees: Thing 1 wasn't happy unless he was able to touch the twinkly lights and ornaments. They gave lots of hugs, read lots of books and played with lots of toys.

Christmas Eve family photo

I'm starting to realize that October-December may not be a good time for me to run races. It seems like I've developed race anxiety--I don't know yet whether it's only because this time of year has so many negative things wrapped up with it, or whether it's racing in general. (I really hope it's the former.) I had a lot of trouble with the races Hubby and I ran at Thanksgiving, so much so that we didn't even try to make it to the race on the 29th. I still feel bad about not racing, but the logical (sane) part of me knows I wasn't healthy enough to run a half marathon then. I was so frustrated with the situation, that on November 30th (the day after my non-race), I ran 13.1 miles by myself. Because I can. And I did it faster than I've ever run a half marathon before. So there.

This year, I'm going to try to re-train my brain when it comes to running. I know I enjoy running. I miss it when I can't run, and there's something so satisfying about a good run. With Hubby's help, I'm going to run some 5k's early this year, and try to focus on having fun again. Somewhere along the line, my brain must have decided that races are stressful and scary, and that leads to race-day panic. Even though I have fun once the race starts, the time leading up to the start has become terrible. Without intending to, or knowing why, I get anxious to the point of throwing up and passing out. Hubby and I are going to work together to try to change that. I'd love to run a half marathon this year, but I don't know that it will happen. Realistically, this may be a slow process, but it's one I'd like to tackle. (In case you were wondering: I talked to my doctor about the problem, and she suggested therapy. I'm sure that's a viable option, but I'd like to try to get there on my own first.)

Since the New Year is a time for making resolutions, Hubby and I have both resolved to run 500 miles this year. I almost made it this year, but bad weather at the start and surgery at the end of the year made me come up a short. Once I get the all-clear from the doctor (hopefully tomorrow), I'm planning to get back on the road! I've got new shoes and some near gear to break in, and I can't wait to hit the ground running! (I'm so clever, aren't I?)